Vitality Principle #3: Make Time Matter More
In the last few weeks, I shared with you the difference between “Health” and “Vitality” and the first two principles of knowing a life of vitality. This week I will share with you the third and final principle of knowing vitality. This last principle allows you to be more present, increase your productivity by 10x, and access fulfillment and gratitude daily.
Drumroll, please..the third and final vitality principle is Make Time Matter More. Time is by far our most valuable resource. We all need to be reminded of this when we make choices that eat up our precious time with loved ones to make a little extra money. I learned this lesson the hard way when I owned the Vitality Center in Southern California and was focused on making more money to support my family. I was so focused on making more money that I was never around to be with my family - a big mistake. I have worked with countless clients who are either caught in this trap themselves or married to someone caught in it. When I was caught in this trap, Eve was a single mom. She was convincing people I existed for many years because I tied my value to “making money” for the family, not being with my family. This scenario is a sign that money is being valued higher than time.
One of the places where this idea of money being more valued than time is most detrimental is in parenting, specifically with mothers. It is, unfortunately, a common theme in our society to devalue being a stay-at-home mom. Whenever I hear someone say to me, “I’m just a mom. I need to do something else.”, I cringe. The idea that being a mom isn’t something of significant value in our society is a MAJOR red flag. So many women I work with come to me because they feel they need to make a “more significant” contribution to their families besides “just being a mom.” In translation - they need to make money. Sometimes, their partners even say things like, “I wish I could sit home all day like you, and you go to work.” I would love to see those partners take on the duties of mom. They wouldn’t last a day! It is hard work being a mom or parent. It's a twenty-four-hour gig, not a nine to five. That is not to say working and making money is not important, but is definitely not more important.
If we started to value time more than money, then we as a society would honor and cherish the roles moms or parents dedicate to spending their time with our children and making the home a loving, safe, and cozy place. If we do not take some major action to our VALUES and make TIME to be available, present, and raise our youth, then we will continue to see the mental health of our youth and future generations deteriorate. I believe an authentic life of vitality starts with making time matter more.
Making time matter more means slowing down. It means getting clear about what is most important and meaningful in your life and prioritizing your time in that space first. If you haven’t identified what is most important, then you will think everything is important and live the experience that most people live, which sounds like, “there just isn’t enough time.” I lived this exact experience for years. Running around like a chicken with its head cut off, working six and half days a week, coming home, and being utterly useless to my wife, Eve, and the kids. I was fortunate enough to reach a point where it was so painful and uncomfortable that I finally stopped and evaluated what I was doing. I could see the trajectory I was on, and it was divorce and completely missing out on fatherhood. Today I know more success in my business than ever before and have more time with my kids and Eve than I thought possible. I promise you, you have more than enough time to get what is most important in your life done.
There is a catch, though - you have to take the time to get clear on what is most important to you. If you haven’t taken the time to identify what that truly is for YOU, then you will be operating with the pre-programmed template that so many have been indoctrinated with called money and status. This template means that you will relate the time you are making money to be more valuable than the time you dedicate to the people most important to you. This life can look like sitting around on the couch with your family and “doing nothing,” making you extraordinarily anxious and restless because you could be using that time to be “more productive.”. This situation should not be a cause of stress.
Identifying what is most meaningful, slowing down, and mindfully putting your time into the areas in your life that you genuinely value will equate to a more fulfilling, peaceful, and meaningful life. These tools are more empowering than you may think. None of us are guaranteed another day. We have no idea when our last day will be. Life is so precious, so sacred, and it goes fast. Don’t waste another moment chasing things that so many before us have discovered don’t matter. Cherish every drop of time you have. When you decide to invest your time into something, relate to it like you are willing to die for what you are doing. Because the reality is, you are dying for whatever that is. You are giving over your life force at that moment you will never get back. And for all you parents reading this - your kids don’t care about the house they live in, the car they drive around town in, how nice their furniture is, or how much money mom or dad make. The only thing they want and care about is knowing they are safe and that they get to consistently spend quality time with you. Wasn’t that what you wanted when you were a kid? Make your time, and your kids’ time, matter more.
